a dragon cave full of books

I don't usually review albums, since I don't really think I am informed enough to talk about music. But when you've played a single album on repeat for over two months, you feel the need to stuff earphones in people's ears and force them to listen to it because it's just that great. Such is the case with   BLURRYFΛCE , and since it's a bit rude and unsanitary to stuff my earphones in people's ears, and since I'm not particularly social, I can't come up with a better way to recommend it to you than to write about it.

Everyone had been telling me how absolutely splendid the album was and how I simply had to listen to it, and how fantastic the band was, but I spent a good several weeks refusing to pay any attention to either the band or the album, because I found the band a bit too weird and because I wasn't in the mood for the album. In case you've never heard of twenty | one | pilots, have you been living under a rock? This awesome guy from Ohio, Tyler Joseph, together with a couple of friends who eventually left, formed a band back in 2009 and put out two self-released albums before the band was (finally, thank the gods) noticed by Fueled by Ramen in 2012. Its other current member, Josh Dun, joined Tyler in mid-2011. Their older stuff is pretty impressive, songs such as Guns for Hands and Semiautomatic have been stuck in my head for a while and you should totally check their first albums as well. In other words, these guys are gems and deserve more attention, now go and listen to them on YouTube while I proceed to tell you all about Blurryface.

Perhaps I should've begun by telling you the genre, but that would have been pretty hard since the one thing that strikes you when you hear Blurryface for the first time is that the album has no single unifying genre. Each song sounds different, and is pretty different than the rest, and there is never a chance that you'll mix songs up as they're all so unique and surprisingly dissimilar. It combines various genres, such as indie pop, electropop, alternative hip hop, pop, rock, reggae. I know it sounds confusing and a bit what-the-hell-ish but it sure is something else, and somehow the songs manage to flow into each other smoothly, even naturally. It's a pretty upbeat album, one that makes you want to dancedancedance while screaming the lyrics at the top of your lungs (which gets rather easy to accomplish once you've played it like a million times), but if you listen to it more carefully, you kind of want to curl into a ball under the shower and bawl your eyes out, and that's the sort of music you want to listen to, I promise.

I was wondering how I should go about introducing the songs, and decided to go down the track list and talk a bit about each piece individually, but maybe a general into is also necessary. The album is titled Blurryface, after an original character from one of the songs, and I suppose everyone perceives it in a separate way, but at least to me it was about the hardships of a person I can deeply identify with, about life and love and other everyday troubles, and mainly about one's insecurities. The whole album is personal and reminiscent of a confession but is also universal, and that's one of the things I love most about it: it seems to me that everyone can find a part of themselves in the lyrics, something to relate to, and that's what good poetry is about. I say poetry simply because the lyrics - powerful, intense words that touch upon many nerves and soft spots - are nothing else but poetry, and poetry so good that it makes me feel a bit ashamed and bad about myself.

01 - heavydirtysoul

The album opens up with quite a catchy, genre-bending song, which at first put me off (I'm not sure rap is my cup of tea) but which, at present, is one of the songs I like most. I like this one in particular because of the chorus (it really hits home, and is perhaps the catchiest in the whole album) but also because the verses are directly taken from Tyler's Street Poems, which is why it contains some of the greatest lines in the whole album.

02 - Stressed Out

If I had to rate the songs in the album, this one would probably rate second. I know the lyrics by heart, and I think it was the first song I fell in love with. This is also the one that gives the album its title. I don't think I can say much more about it, so I'll just let the lyrics speak.

'I was told when I get older all my fears would shrink/ but now I'm insecure and I care what people think' 

'But it would remind us of when nothing really mattered/ Out of students loans and tree house homes we all would take the latter' 

'Used to dream of outer space but now they're laughing at our face,/ saying "wake up, you need to make money" '

03 - Ride

This is one of the most cheerful, and therefore most contradictory, songs on the whole album. I get pretty energetic when vacuuming and singing along to this one, but once I let the lyrics sink it, I think it's perhaps the most philosophical and most depressing ones.

'Like who would you live for? Who would you die for?/ Would you ever kill?'

04 - Fairly Local 

Fairly Local is quite important to me (so much so that it's part of one of my prospective tattoo designs) and I think a lot of people from my background can relate to it. It's rather different from the other songs in the album, quite futuristic and alienable, but I love it a lot for the electro sound. As always, it's the lyrics that make it so special. A self-study, a judgement of one's self, an estimation of who a person is: that's how I'd define it, though I'm not sure this is what Tyler meant.

'The world around us is burning but we're so cold/ It's the few, the proud, the emotional'

05 - Tear in my Heart 

In my personal list, Tear in my Heart wins a deserved third place. In its essence, it's a love song, and quite catchy, and it makes me ache for someone to sing it to. Really emotional, and quite catchy as well. I find myself humming it every so often, and I swear, it's lovely.

06 - Lane Boy

For whatever reason, Lane Boy became my ultimate favorite and I can even rap the first part really fast (I'm still working on the second part). It clings on to your heart, rips it out and eats it raw. This one is mainly about adults telling us what to do and who to be, and about us, young people, finding ourselves and standing our ground, and being whoever and whatever we want to be.

07 - The Judge

Honestly, this one is weird. It's this really upbeat, ukulele song, that seems like the least serious, least important song on the album, but as its title suggests, it's not quite so simple. This is perhaps the most philosophical one, and it delves into religion and personal beliefs, and other topics which blend surprisingly well with the song's cheerful tone. On top of that, it's rather catchy, so you often find yourself singing happily,

'I'm a pro at imperfections/ and I'm best friends with my doubt'

08 - Doubt

Doubt reminds me a lot of a cheesy pop song I might hear on the radio, and on the surface, it's precisely just that. It has the sound, it has the beat, it has the rhythm to be the next summer hit -- But there's again the thing with the lyrics being just a bit too deep for the public.

'Scared of my own image
Scared of my own immaturity
Scared of my own ceiling
Scared I'll die of uncertainty
Fear might be the death of me
Fear leads to anxiety'

09 - Polarize 

Polarize is, without a doubt, one of the catchiest songs ever written, and one of the best to sing along - and dance - to. Moreover (what a surprise!) it hits you right in the feels if you decide to pay attention to what you're screaming at the top of your lungs.

10 - We Don't Believe What's on TV

The other romantic song on this album, We Don't Believe What's on TV is one of those songs you're just dying to sing to your partner when you're both feeling particularly cheesy. On the other hand, it's a bit down, and just a ta-a-d depressing at times. Still, it's one of the best songs on the album, it sounds pretty upbeat.

'We don't believe what's on TV/ because it's what we want to see/ and what we want we know we can't believe/ We have all learnt to kill our dreams'

'I need to know that when I fail you'll still be here/ cos if you stick around I'll sing you pretty sounds'

'I used to say I wanna die before I'm old/ But because of you I might thing twice'

11 - Message Man  

I used to skip this one a lot, mostly because the meaning is pretty evasive and I still can't exactly pin it down. I love the rap part, though, and I am almost done memorizing it. Personally, I believe it's one of the weaker songs on the album, yet it's still pretty great.


12 - Hometown

I relate to Hometown a lot, I might even say it hits home. It's a very nostalgic song, rather melancholic and distinctively slower than the rest. It sounds a lot like Fall Out Boy's stuff, which makes me like it even more.

13 - Not Today

'This one's a contradiction because of how happy it sounds/ But the lyrics are so down' 

 14 - Goner

Goner is the ballad of the album, a sad, quiet song, more suitable for crying than for dancing. All you need to know about it is that it hurts like hell, and it will probably make you cry.


To sum up, these 52:23 minutes are a religious experience. If you need to feel a lot, and listen to some meaningful, inspiring poetry, combined with innovative, creative music, you just HAVE TO listen to   BLURRYFΛCE .

How do I even begin to describe camp? How is it possible, in a few simple words, to express what these two weeks meant to me? It is hard to talk about life-changing events. You never do them justice. Still, I should try. 

I think this one sums camp up pretty well

Taking selfies with teachers is like a level up in taking selfies

Throwback to when Juan was a nice guy and not a merciless killer

Where do I begin? The people? For a person who lives in a small town, two weeks spent with broad-minded, intelligent people, a creative bunch of funny, curious and ambitious young men and women, a potpourri of nationalities and characters, was like a dream come true. 
(Now that I've uploaded the pictures, I realize how absurd this sounds. We're mature people, I promise.)

It was culturally enriching. Somehow, in such a short time, I managed to make a great many friends: the kind of friendships that last. If I try to explain how bonding reading terrible fan fiction can be, or how easily you can make friends by using cheesy puns or fandoms, you probably won't believe me. Yet I have a surprisingly large number of friends from all over the world (USA, Russia, Spain, Austria, Georgia, Kazakhstan) as well as from Bulgaria (shout out to my biches and to the Bulgarian mafia) who prove how easy it is to make friends in such an environment. Perhaps the best thing I got out of camp was meeting some of the people I currently call best friends. 

I should mention the counselors, and Stella in particular. Making friends with her is one of the best things I got out of camp. Others - Najwa, Alvaro, Halim - were an endless source of positivity and were always there when needed. A ginormous amount of kudos goes to the teachers - especially to Ali (who is one of the most creative, inspiring and intriguing people I've met) and to Geri (whose support, advice and lessons were invaluable and whose help might as well have changed the course of my entire life), but also to Veronica whose classes I would have gladly attended and who always offered a nice chat, and to Alex who was a great team leader (yay for team D, go go Dinosaurs). The kind ladies in the canteen and the patient guards in Skapto also deserve to be mentioned. In general,as can be seen in the pictures, it was the people, though not the people only, who made the experience so mind-blowingly amazing.

And here we can see Horse Guy without the horse mask

Why is it always the Russians?

Does this even need a caption?

Squad goals?

Matt Smith.

Here's to the friends that don't like taking pictures.

Camp is for finding the best friends you can hope for.

This picture.

Celebrating July 4th with orange juice. I have no explanation.

Hugging the authorities. So cute.

The Caisi Squad

No caption can contain the awesomeness.

So badass though.   What else? The divine coffee from the vending machine in the lounge room or maybe the awesome strawberry shortcake and the strawberry yogurt from the cafeteria deserve a place here. So do the huge cherries and the melon we had every single day at least twice a day (I hate melon). Kudos to the cooks who served us every possible variation of potatoes, rice and cheese imaginable. A favorite part of was 'stealing' water, or rather trying to sneak more than one bottle of water out of the canteen, as well as stealthily returning half full trays of food to the kind kitchen ladies. I should also mention cooking class - I learnt how to prepare no-bake raspberry chocolate tarts and something Spanish with eggs and potatoes, and some sort of Georgian bread, and did no damage to the kitchen, somehow.

Much cook, very wow.

Mine looks best, that's why I'm so proud.

Spanish cooking 101.

Georgian.... bread?

As for the campus (I'm madly in love), I'll let the photos speak instead. Best dorms ever, 11/10 would recommend, the couches in every block are of particular importance and host memories that should never become known to the public. I especially love the lobby where I spent more time than I did in my room. Speaking of my room, I am ashamed to admit that it took me about four days to learn its location which resulted in a lot of wandering and getting lost. (I'm a huge dork, pass it on.)









I developed a very keen sense of time (a necessary attribute when you have curfew), I learnt what relay games are (if you don't know, I hope you never find out), I killed people with clothespins and landed magnificently on my butt while playing Capture the Flag. I chased zombies and was a zombie chased by people, I had to be dragged out of a bookstore and drank a fair share of smoothies, I memorized umbrella street (due to a series of late-night roamings) and had sushi for the first time, I found myself laughing on the floor several times. I learnt how to play Uno and how to pass an orange around using my throat, I played Ultimate Frisbee (just google it) and saw two (two!) cheesy action movies, I dealt with drunk Russians and listened to MCR in an empty parking lot , pretended I was American and was taken for an American (on separate occasions). I made artsy earrings and sang karaoke, walked in the rain and played Joplin and Chopin on loudspeakers during lunch, lay on the grass and created a no-shoes zone (which was basically forcing people to walk barefoot). I ate mekitsi in Rila and was given twigs instead of flowers. I got lost in Sofia and bought a Starbucks drink with a name so long that I can't really remember it. I spent several hours reading terrible jokes with some of the nicest guys I've ever met... Generally, it was a lot of fun. 

This is how people react to Humans vs. Zombies. Priceless.

Movie night, we're so intellectual.

Zombie enough?

I was the luckiest person alive because I got the chance to spend my 18th birthday at camp. I was given a birthday donut in class and a birthday cake by my friends and some tiramisu by this Austrian guy who is awesome and stuff.